Finally, I have a reason to post about Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP — which is destined to be the most thrilling pop album of 2013.   I have to hand it Gaga, we all thoroughly hated her after Born This Way killed us softly (not in a good way) with every listen.   The sonic turd that was almost every song on that album left legions of gay people feeling tied up by their toes in the middle of a club with their assholes vulnerable and ready to be probed (for me, not a food thing..)

It’s ironic that a good song come from the subject of Donatella Versace but then again, she is a true monster.   Dear Donatella is the living crypt-keeper,  the true queen corpse of plastic surgery gone wrong.   I’m ashamed to admit I’ve spent many an afternoon Googling Lady D, marveling at the celebrities who pretend not to be distracted by that which stands next to them.    The true sob story here, is that sweet ‘Tella did look normal at one time — a sexy trashy kind of Taylor Dayne hot.  Distorted body image can be a bitch — and so can all that sweet botox.

But I digress…

Lady Gaga has served up another delectable slice of electro pop perfection with DONATELLA.   The Toni Basil “Hey Mickey” inspired anthem is exactly the song that would make your jock drop fall to your knees after a couple whiskeys in the local gay bar (I’m looking at you Newt Gingrich.)     And really who other than Queen of Art Gaga would write such tea spilling lyrics like:

Walk down the runway but don’t puke (Annotateit’s okay)
You just had a salad today, Boulangerie
Just ask your gay friend’s their advice, before you
Get a spray tan on holiday, in Taipei

Bjork better hold on to Matthew Barney’s lube, cuz Gaga’s coming for him next.

Dish on this shit people: